I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
