She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
