Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
