last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
