I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
