I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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