I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
