My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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