Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
