We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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