No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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