he thought i was a dude.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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