just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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