I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
