So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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