That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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