you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
