I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
