First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
