it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left