You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.