She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
