so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.