Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.

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  (502): Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes. http://tfl.nu/a8d2
  Replies (15) Good night (6656) Bad night (649)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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  (614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt
  Replies (52) Good night (996) Bad night (6030)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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  (847): Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers http://tfl.nu/3d71
  Replies (50) Good night (1059) Bad night (6344)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Grandpa would have been proud

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  (815): Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out. (815): Grandpa would have been proud http://tfl.nu/nrjc
  Replies (13) Good night (5878) Bad night (1263)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (34678) Bad night (3998)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (1900) Bad night (6956)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.

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  (248): That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that. http://tfl.nu/u3z8
  Replies (7) Good night (2357) Bad night (1418)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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  (724): look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means. http://tfl.nu/mq55
  Replies (10) Good night (3468) Bad night (1169)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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  (330): Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it. http://tfl.nu/tfef
  Replies (19) Good night (1231) Bad night (2538)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.

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  (706): Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check. http://tfl.nu/kz2a
  Replies (7) Good night (2553) Bad night (664)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

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  (503): i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here http://tfl.nu/1c81
  Replies (5) Good night (860) Bad night (1165)
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  (310): View more from California

  Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...

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  (310): Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right... http://tfl.nu/uva3
  Replies (0) Good night (616) Bad night (602)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac

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  (516): I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac http://tfl.nu/kqv2
  Replies (4) Good night (260) Bad night (480)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!

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  (360): No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?! http://tfl.nu/nhtk
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (272)
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  (323): View more from California

  The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"

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  (323): The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role" http://tfl.nu/uhmh
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (184)

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