I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
