Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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