If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You made out with two different species that night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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