I feel like I'm in dance class right now
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
