tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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