How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
