I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
