she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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