I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
