She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
