was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
