Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
