Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
