Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
