i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
