Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize