ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
