Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
