apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
