Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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