saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
