i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
