How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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