K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
