ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
