That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm at about main and main street
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
