So drunk its hurt
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
