I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize