Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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