One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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