I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it hurts more in the daytime
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
