my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
