Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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