I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
