I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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