and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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