Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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